Before you start to come down on me, hear me out! As a divorcee myself I lost almost everything! Notice I said almost. But what if…what if losing is winning in a divorce. At the time of my separation and divorce of course I could not see it. I felt like I was losing everything my spouse, my home, my family. It didn’t help that I also lost my job about the same time and I was unemployed for over a year!  Why does everything bad always  go wrong at the same time?? So I became a loser and here’s what I lost. I lost pain, lost distrust, I lost fake friends and acquaintances,  I lost pretense and hypocrisy. Yes I lost it all! Not what you were expecting, I am sure! Let me explain.

I lost pain!

At first it seemed as if I gained pain.  For many months and years it seemed like that this was true. The pain of a broken relationship, the harsh words that are exchanged, the hurtful actions. There are so many emotions that accompany divorce. I was in so much emotional, mental even physical pain because of my separation and divorce. I was separated first and then divorced.  It was torturous not  knowing what each day would bring.

I lost distrust!

In other words I learned to trust. I began to trust again. After feeling betrayed by my now ex, I had  to learn to trust again. I became so distrustful of people, events situations. God brought persons into my life who taught me how to trust. I now have persons in my life who have shown time and time again that they can be trusted, even when they fail.

I lost fake friends!

If you have been divorced you know exactly what I am talking/ writing about! You really find out who your real friends are. I remember reading an article or watching a movie, that asked the question “who gets the friends after a divorce?” I did not know that was even a thing! But apparently your friends and family ultimately take sides. So if you have been divorced, I ask you, who got the friends?

I lost pretence and hypocrisy!

And finally, I lost pretence and hypocrisy. I had to drop all my charades. As human beings we all try to project that everything is great or fine all the time. Not possible….Pretending things  were fine when they were not, is a horrible way to live! I had to face the fact that my marriage failed and that even though I felt that I was betrayed, that I too fell short. There is no one culprit in the downfall of a relationship.

So I declare,  I am divorced and I am a loser! I lost to win!