Dating 101

Photo by Taryn Elliott on

Dating can be difficult. However, dating as a single mom, older than 40 can be even more tricky, to say the least! You also have to factor in your needs, and that of a child or children when finding the right partner. The pool of eligible candidates are also smaller. So how can a successful single mom, or mature professional woman hit the jackpot when it comes to dating and ultimately finding love?

There are several things you need to know before you jump into the dating pool (figuratively of course)! Here are 4 questions you need to ask yourself before you can find love after 40:

Why date?

Really , why do you want to date? Are you in search of a lifelong companion or just someone to hang out with? Your reasons for dating will determine how successful your dating life will be. When I started to date again after my divorce, I really just wanted to be out of the house. My ex had moved on and I knew that I needed to move on too! So definitely I just wanted company to spend time with besides my daughter! Again why do you want to date? Be honest with yourself!

Who should I date?

What are the characteristics of the person you want to date? Physically what does that person look like? What sort of personality does he or she have? Do you expect your date to be a caring and honest person? Some women, for example, still expect men to open car doors, pull their chairs, etc? Some of society’s liberated women may not require men to meet those expectations. What are your expectations? You need to decide upon the attributes that matter most to you in a mate or someone you choose to spend time with.

Where can I go?

Dates can be anywhere! You can visit restaurants, go on outdoor dates, picnics in parks, by the seaside or lake. You can be adventurous and maybe go hiking, bike riding, kayaking or snorkeling. You can attend theatrical productions, visit the library, museums, science centers, attend a special church event. You can even have dinner and movie dates using Zoom or other video conferencing tools! These types of movie dates should be especially fun, since you will actually be able to converse with each other throughout the entire movie, unlike being at an actual cinema!

Photo by Samson Katt on

Am I willing to listen?

And finally, be willing to listen! You must be willing to share and connect emotionally with your date. Notice I did not say connect physically! At least not the first night! Being over 40 (hopefully) would have provided you with enough life experiences to really want to know your date first! Ladies, ladies, ladies….. Ladies, we looooove to talk, especially on dates! It is more important to listen, than to speak. Listening provides an opportunity to really get to know your date. In order to build lasting relationships, we really need to listen to persons, and in this case, listen to what your date is saying.

Following this advice, I believe, will improve your love and dating life if you are over 40. Happy dating!

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