Here Comes Super Mom!!!

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

It’s a bird, it’s a plane…’s it’s SUPERMOM! In my 30s, I made a valiant attempt to be a SUPERMOM!  A SUPERMOM extraordinaire, if you will! That was was foolishness, just like Solomon said in the bible, because my ex was definitely not trying to be a SUPERDAD!! He was content being his usual self! He was not at all interested in us becoming a super couple!  That was all on me!  What was I thinking!! Ladies,  moms…GET A GRIP! You need your strength in your 30s, so you can really enjoy life in your 40s!

I have always admired Wonder Woman. Growing up as a child, I remember getting the Wonder woman vest and underwear (yep, it really was underwear)! I imagined myself being Wonder Woman, saving people and fighting evil doers, while looking beautiful at the same time. So granted, I was about 7 or 9 years old, did not have the same long, black flowing hair and blue eyes as Wonder Woman, not even the same complexion or race, but in my imagination…we were twinsies!

Anywho…somehow this image of Wonder Woman always stuck in my mind and growing up, I was  determined to be a sort of super hero, or shero myself. That being said, by the time I got married, had my career, a husband and a child, I felt like I had to do it all! By myself! For myself.! Why, O why??? Alas!

Frustrated mother and child
Photo by Nicholas Githiri on

As I mentioned before, my ex never tried to be superdad! So really what was up with me trying to be SUPERMOM?? Of course it doesn’t help that society has these expectations of  women that usually are unfair. Professional and working moms especially, are subjected to some unrealistic child rearing, home, work, life balance expectations, whatever you want to call it. But the worst part is, as women, as moms, we actually believe we can meet these SUPERMOM expectations!

So as a SUPERMOM, I felt it was my responsibility to ensure that every meal was freshly cooked and on time, and that all activities inside and outside the home were organized and coordinated by myself.  All responsibilities related to the day to day care of our daughter, I also felt was my own. My job at the time required that I spend almost 12 hours each day away from home, and that excluded travelling abroad. My position in the organization at that time was not a travelling position. Yet, and I calculated it, I was out of the country, on average every 6 weeks, for some 3 to 5 days per trip. Talk about a hectic life! And still, I was determined to do it on my own. After all, I was SUPERMOM! 

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on

Looking back on my life then, I could see how silly I must have been!  I am grateful for the tremendous support of my parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and even my grandmother, who was still alive at the time to see her first great grandchild. Ultimately I could not have done it without them!

Now as a single, divorced mom, I know that me trying to be SUPERMOM, was me…being ridiculous! I have vowed never to do so again. In trying to be everything to everyone, as women, as mothers, you often forget the one person who matters most, YOURSELF! Ladies, be yourself. Taking care of yourself does not mean that you are being selfish. The truth…And I know it’s hard to accept. If you don’t take care of yourself NOW, you will not be around to take care of those you love the most.

Yep, sobering but true. God wants us to love and take care of ourselves, so that we can best love and nurture those around us. Today, I no longer see myself as SUPERMOM. Instead, I am a SUCCESSFUL MOM, who loves and takes care of myself, and my family too!

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2 thoughts on “Here Comes Super Mom!!!

  1. This is awesome Ayanna. I’m again inspired by you. Your self actualization here is sure to inspire not only women who need to realize their value but others including men such as myself who were not appreciated by their former spouse or the children that I helped to raise though not mine. Thanks for sharing your blog with me. Tim Salle’y


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