It’s Not You It’s Me! How many times have you heard this line! Breaking up is hard to do for sure! So last evening I was watching this movie where the girl, after having dated a guy for 5 plus years, breaks up with him because he was unambitious. And then, lo and behold, surprise, surprise, within 6 months he gets engaged and marries someone else! Sounds familiar to you? Hmm….
Think about it…If you are right now in a relationship with someone for many years (I am not talking necessarily about one or two years, more than that) and you are still dealing with the same issues from 5 years ago, then it’s definitely time to evaluate your options! Most times you keep thinking the other person will change and realize what a great person or great catch you are. Just one more day, one more time, but it doesn’t happen. So maybe, just maybe, it could be time to move it. And here’s 5 reasons why you may need to end your relationship.
Reason # 1 You can’t change the one you love
You can’t change anyone. As human beings, we love to believe that we can miraculously change people’s personalities, characteristics etc. I can’t, you can’t. The only person who can change the ones we love is themselves! He or she must be willing to change for himself or herself!!
Reason # 2 You have outgrown the relationship
You have grown. Your partner has grown. You are not, he or she is not the same person who started this relationship. Time, life experiences and trials change us all. You need to acknowledge those changes and move on Caveat: This advice let me stress, is mainly for unmarried, single individuals. Do not tell your current spouse that you have outgrown them and you need to leave after reading this article!
Reason # 3 You are unhappy
You are not happy. Your significant other is not happy. Or they may be happy…who knows!! What is happiness anyway? A feeling mainly. Here’s the thing (wait for it)…no one can make you happy. I am sure you have heard this before! Your happiness comes from within. So guess what, if you are not happy, it is really not about the other person, the problem is you! You are your biggest problem. Figure out what makes you happy and soon!
Reason # 4 You can do better!
Your family and friends keep saying, “You can do better” or “Move on.” My advice here is a little mixed. On the one hand, you want to be respectful and thoughtful to your family members and friends, who certainly love you and want you to be happy. On the other hand, you also know and understand the person your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend better than they do. Navigating this path is a little trickier. Ultimately it boils down to who do you think has your best interests at heart? In other words, who do you think really loves you the most? And if truth be told, you already know the answer to this question.
Reason # 5 Fear of Failure
Get over your fear of failing, not falling, but failing in love again… and having to start over. No one wants to fail or be deemed a failure especially in relationships, especially since you believed this was really the one! I firmly believe that the person who God has designed for you will find you or you will find them.
So there you have it, 5 reasons why you may need to break up. Take your time, pray, pray about your decision, after all you do not want to hurt anyone unnecessarily. Everything reveals itself in time. People also show you who they really are over time. If you have been in the same relationship for many, many years (with marriage seemingly nowhere in sight), ask God for His wisdom right now. Let Him be the one to guide your decision to stay, or to move on. God knows your value and He knows who He has chosen especially for you. Trust Him!